The Year of Clarity

2020 is almost halfway through and it’s already been the most life-changing time in my life.  Six months ago I decided to take the year off from 25 years of STAT travel to reflect in order to move forward. On January 4, I had ski accident and fractured my tibial plateau and I couldn’t walk for 2 weeks.  Not the sorta reflection I was looking for.  I thought that was the worst thing that could ever happen to me, someone who works out every day of her life.  When concerned friends would ask me how I was doing, I would break down and cry and say “not good”.  Alone in my home trying to manage basic things like making my morning ritual coffee took forever. And just letting the dog out was a hardship.   I had to learn to SLOW DOWN and BE PATIENT with myself.  It wasn’t easy and it took a good 8 weeks to get better with lots of rehab.  But the best thing I learned was how important community is during a time in need.  People brought me food, sent flowers, took my dog for walks and helped me get to doctor appointments.  They were people I see in yoga, favorite restaurants, stores I frequent, or on the ski slopes/hiking trails.  My Aspen community.  I had cultivated a deep respect for the importance of being surrounded by a caring compassionate community and then boom…a global pandemic.  And so it gets worse. The World is placed on hold and my New York City becomes the epicenter of the virus. Unprecedented and incredibly sad to say the least.  Now it’s another community (frontliners) who are my heroes.  There has been a shift from I to We and I’m learning again to SLOW DOWN and BE PATIENT as the world heals.  I’ve been meditating, practicing yoga, listening to a lot of inspiring podcasts, reading poetry, and enjoying solitary hikes with my aging (12 1/2) dog Sydney who for the third time now during this period is teaching me how to SLOW DOWN to her pace and BE PATIENT as she navigates the rocky trails.  Universe, I’m getting the message.  And I’m working on it.  There’s an opportunity here for us to to come back from this time in history having gained some insight or wisdom that we can use to attain greater clarity on reality. I’m a true believer that everything happens for a reason and we can choose a better story for ourselves.  We will get through this together as we travel again in 2021 to a place where heaven meets earth.

I leave you with one of my favorite poems by Mary Oliver.

You might see an angel anytime and anywhere.  Of course you have to open your eyes to a kind of second level, but it’s not really hard. The whole business of what’s reality and what isn’t has never been solved and probably never will be. So I don’t care to be too definite about anything.  I have a lot of edges called Perhaps and almost nothing you can call Certainty.  For myself, but not for other people.  That’s a place you just can’t get into, not entirely anyway, other people’s heads.

I don’t care how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.  It’s enough to know that for some people they exist, and that they dance.

*art by Carly Kuhn @thecartorialist